Heather

Maybe I don’t have to know

I’ve always been a long range planner.

Right now, I am uncertain about a lot of those plans. I don’t know anymore. I don’t know what I want, or what I’m supposed to do.  The path in front of me is dark.

But that doesn’t really matter, does it? Because I don’t have to know where I will be in five years from now. I don’t have to make huge long range plans. I don’t have to write a long list of everything I want to accomplish in my life. I don’t have to worry about whatever the future holds.

I can do stuff because I want to. I don’t have to have a career plan. I don’t have to know when or if I’m ever going back to school or not. I don’t have to know where I’ll be in two years. I don’t have to know what jobs I will have. I don’t have to know when I’ll have children. I don’t even have to know what I’m going to have for dinner, though I may need to decide soon.

Whenever I don’t know my future, I have a difficult time. I am a planner.

But there are so many uncertain things in my life right now that it’s too exhausting to figure it out. I don’t need a long range plan.

I just need to live today, and that, frankly, is enough.

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3 thoughts on “Maybe I don’t have to know

  1. I USED to be a planner… 🙂 Now I don’t dare look beyond the next semester or I go nuts when my plans have to change!! 😛

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  2. Sorry you got your planning gene from me. I survive by having little plans. I need to have something to look forward to but it can be as simple as an upcoming ballgame or family get together.

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