I’ve always been a long range planner.
Right now, I am uncertain about a lot of those plans. I don’t know anymore. I don’t know what I want, or what I’m supposed to do. The path in front of me is dark.
But that doesn’t really matter, does it? Because I don’t have to know where I will be in five years from now. I don’t have to make huge long range plans. I don’t have to write a long list of everything I want to accomplish in my life. I don’t have to worry about whatever the future holds.
I can do stuff because I want to. I don’t have to have a career plan. I don’t have to know when or if I’m ever going back to school or not. I don’t have to know where I’ll be in two years. I don’t have to know what jobs I will have. I don’t have to know when I’ll have children. I don’t even have to know what I’m going to have for dinner, though I may need to decide soon.
Whenever I don’t know my future, I have a difficult time. I am a planner.
But there are so many uncertain things in my life right now that it’s too exhausting to figure it out. I don’t need a long range plan.
I just need to live today, and that, frankly, is enough.