Sometimes life is overwhelming and I struggle. Like when I’m cleaning the fridge and I start crying because I can’t figure out how to put it together properly. I responded really bad to that.
But on the other hand, our washer broke, so we need to get a new one. Luckily, we had enough laundry done that we were okay for a week. And we had enough savings/future income to pay for a new one. I am wearing my husband’s shirt today because we are rather short on clothes. I responded beautifully to the washer breaking–I didn’t fret or cry or even worry about it much. I just knew we could buy a new one and it would be fine.
How can I handle a washer breaking quite well but I can’t handle a fridge that won’t go back together properly?
A huge part of it is Dillon was home when the washer broke. When he is around, I am a better person. This being alone with MM for four to five days a week has been hard. Really hard sometimes–mostly emotionally. I just don’t know what to do with myself.
But most of the time, I’m doing all right. I can find happiness with MM in the middle of the desert. Like today, we went outside and I raked the backyard sandpit and MM got sand all over herself. I was quite pleased that she got herself all dirty.
And it’s okay to have bad days. It’s okay if life just feels hard right now. I’m learning and growing and becoming a better person for it. Slowly, maybe, but it’s happening.