Inspiration · Musings

Being Okay

I read a book the other day that was about some people going through some hard things, and one of the conversations in the book was how the main character wanted her husband to stop saying, “Everything will be okay.” She hated the word okay.

It’s something I’ve sort of thought about lately. I saw a post where someone was injured pretty bad and there was a comment that said, “Is she okay?” Well, of course not. She was injured.

I think we want everything to be okay, and that’s why we ask it. It’s almost saying, “Can you just say it’s okay so I can stop worrying about it?”

But sometimes, things aren’t okay. And sometimes we need to be more sensitive to others and instead of wanting them to be okay, we should actually just let them feel what they have to feel. Sometimes we do need to worry and care. Sometimes we need to shed tears, to mourn with those that mourn, instead of just wishing everything okay.

“Are you okay?” can be an appropriate question when someone falls down and you want to make sure they aren’t hurt.

But when you know something is wrong–when someone is in pain, either physical or emotional–when you can see the blood or tears–it’s a stupid question. Of course they aren’t okay. You know they aren’t okay. And just because you want them to be okay does not mean they will be.

Sometimes things hurt. Sometimes it takes time until they don’t hurt anymore. That’s how life is.


3 thoughts on “Being Okay

  1. Yes!

    I have a good friend from high school who used to ask me that when he was worried about me, and I would tell him, “Okay is relative.” If all is well, I’m not going to say I’m okay. And he understood that.


  2. It has troubled me at times when people said “it’s going to be okay” in order to comfort me — times when I wanted to know I was heard, and that my pain was valid, and instead felt alone. Even if it is going to be okay, which it probably will, I imagine I’m not the only one to whom that phrase can feel like a glossing over of things that are not easy.


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