I sometimes think of an imaginary dream life. It’s pretty much like my life right now–I’m a stay-at-home mom, I have the same husband, same kids, etc. The setting is just different. It takes place in a beautiful new home somewhere in Utah county instead of a modular home in Nevada.
Since I moved here, I’ve always had this attitude that I would be leaving soon. And I will not stay in this town and this house for forever. But a part of me wanted to leave as soon as possible.
The other day, I watched this video where a boy gives up the high school surf team so he could attend seminary. My first reaction was why can’t he have both things? Surfing isn’t bad. Why should he give it up?
But that reaction was wrong. We can’t have it all. And we should have joy in our sacrifices. Even when we have to give up good things for something that is even better.
I realized that I had been wanting it all. I hadn’t been willing to make the sacrifices that I should have. And one of the sacrifices the Lord has required of me right now is to live here.
And in that moment, I was finally okay being here and I didn’t want to leave as soon as possible. I am far away from a lot of my family and I miss them, but there is so much more to life (and I’m not that far). My husband has an awesome job. I love the people I have met in the town I live in. I have learned a lot and I have had awesome experiences here.
The conclusion of that train of thought was that I should paint my house. I’ve always hesitated because I don’t own this house and I’ll probably leave. But I finally realized that I probably won’t leave for a few years. I’m supposed to be here right now. And I didn’t want my walls off-white/cream the whole time I’m here. And I definitely didn’t want the 1980s wallpaper in my kitchen.
So we stripped wallpaper and painted. And now it feels like my house, not something I’m trying to get away from. I’ll post pictures when I finish putting my house together.