So I have been a little terrified of sharing this. Because it is frankly embarrassing. But here we go.
A week ago, I shaved off all my hair.
It was NOT intentional. And it was not caused by any health problems whatsoever. I didn’t have a mental breakdown. It was caused by me being an idiot.
I wish I had a better story to go behind it–maybe something like Anne accidentally dyeing her hair green. I did not accidentally dye my hair green.
What I did do is try to cut my own hair. I have successfully cut my own hair before, so this was not an unusual thing to do. But It was not working this time at all. It kept getting shorter and shorter, as hair does when you keep putting scissors to it. And, well, it came to a point where I decided really, really short hair would be better than lawn-mower hair.
We got out the clippers. Probably not the best choice, but it happened. My husband was there for most of this, and he even helped me cut my hair quite short. We did it with the longest guard we had, and it really didn’t look that bad. I have had it around that short before, back in 2008.
And then Dillon trimmed my neck and I went to do some touch-up and forgot the guard was not on the clippers. And I shaved a big chunk of my hair completely off.
It was exactly like a bad dream. I wanted to wake up. It was so absurd that of course it would just end and I would be relieved that it was all just a dream.
But it wasn’t a dream. It was real.
I didn’t have hair anymore.
I have done a lot of laughing over this, thank goodness. First I cried very hard. Then I laughed. I am a responsible adult and a mother of two children and I managed to accidentally shave my hair off. It’s ridiculous.
Still, the next day, it took a lot of courage to show up to church. In a hat. I’ve been wearing hats a lot lately. Winter time is not a good time to shave your hair off because it’s cold. But then you can wear beanies all the time and it doesn’t look weird.
In case you were wondering, I do not like my hair this short. Of course not. MM was crying when I cut my hair off, “I don’t want Mommy to be a boy!” I can pull off androgynous pretty well. I don’t want to, but I can.
Hair grows! And I figure it is better to get this out there instead of hiding in deep shame. Because it’s just hair. And hair is not a very important aspect of life.