My husband is in the hospital. He has been there for five full days now. I don’t know when he’s going to get out of the hospital. I still have questions about what’s going on, questions that may never be answered. Basically, he got his appendix out, everything seemed to be normal, he came home, and he didn’t recover easily like he should have. Instead, he started throwing-up and so we had to take him back in. So I guess all of this is basically a lot of complications resulting from that appendicitis.
I have never had to deal with a sick family member before. Growing up, we were all basically blessed with good health and few accidents. This is a completely new experience for me.
When Dillon wasn’t getting better after his appendectomy, I struggled for a few days. I struggled a lot. It was unexpected and different and I felt worried, uncertain, and afraid.
I prayed a lot. I prayed and I trusted. There were times when I felt calm enough, other times when I just ended up crying a whole bunch. I didn’t feel very strong. I didn’t feel very capable of dealing with this.
Then on Tuesday morning, things started to change. At first, I was angry instead of worried. And then, when the anger faded, I was calm. I was able to let go of all those things I simply couldn’t control. I felt strong again. I felt peace and happiness, and instead of just telling myself that things would work out, I actually believed that they would.
I was allowed to struggle for a moment, and then Heavenly Father gave me strength. He gave me peace. I could suddenly handle what had been such a big struggle for me. I felt patience even when the circumstances hadn’t changed much. It was completely a gift from God.
I don’t know when things will work out and I don’t know how they will work out. I hope it will be quick and easy, best case scenario. But if not, I’ll take what comes. I didn’t have the strength to deal with this by myself, but with my Heavenly Father, I do have strength. A lot more than I ever expected.