I have no idea where I’m going, but I’m going somewhere

I have a lot of uncertainty in my life. I know what I’m doing today and tomorrow and for the next few weeks, but since my husband is looking for new jobs, at some point we’ll pack up everything we own that isn’t already in boxes and drive somewhere most likely far away.

There are a lot of unknowns about where I will be and what I will do this year. Or even the next month or two. And I have absolutely no idea where I will be in five years.

I do know that I am a mother to three children (though I have no idea if there will be more or not). I know that that is a large part of my identity and purpose.

I have goals. But I’ve had goals that haven’t worked out: building a website or getting writing published, for example. I’ve had other things that have popped into my life and have brought a whole lot of meaning, like friendship, church callings, and family history work.

My life has rarely worked out as planned. The things is, I keep trying. I keep doing what I can in a day. I don’t know what will work out. But the right thing will happen if I keep trying.

The Lord gives us enough light.

Long ago I worked for one of our railroads whose tracks threaded the passes through these western mountains. I frequently rode the trains. It was in the days when there were steam locomotives. Those great monsters of the rails were huge and fast and dangerous. I often wondered how the engineer dared the long journey through the night. Then I came to realize that it was not one long journey, but rather a constant continuation of a short journey. The engine had a powerful headlight that made bright the way for a distance of 400 or 500 yards. The engineer saw only that distance, and that was enough, because it was constantly before him all through the night into the dawn of the new day.

The Lord has spoken of this process. He said: “That which doth not edify is not of God, and is darkness.

“That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day” (D&C 50:23–24).

And so it is with our eternal journey. We take one step at a time. In doing so we reach toward the unknown, but faith lights the way. If we will cultivate that faith, we shall never walk in darkness.

-Gordon B. Hinckley



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